Monday, February 24, 2014

Will I keep this blog going???

So much time has passed once again. I keep thinking I will keep up with the blog and somehow I don't. Well Potty training is rough to say the least. I started and stopped multiple times and we are finally potty training Addison. This time she is ready so it is actually working. Dawson in crawling has been for almost a month now.

This post might just be for me to just get some things off my chest so I understand if this post isn't read. Feel free to skip down to pictures and look and how cute my kids are.

Motherhood is so amazing. These children are so great and I am honored to be their mom. I have heard and read by multiple people how hard it is. So I don't feel I entered with rose colored glasses. I have always been a stress case. Heck when I was 17 a Dr told me my headaches were stress related. I didn't really have much going on during that time in my life, how could I be stressed? I just seem to be really struggling with the whole mommy thing. I didn't think lack of sleep would affect me too bad, wrong. I thought of it will be fun to play with my kids all day and cook dinner every night and read tons of book to my kids and I will handle it all gracefully, WRONG. I rarely have a meal prepared on time, playing with my kids is a lot harder than I had thought, I guess being the youngest in my family and not really babysitting a whole lot is catching up on me. I struggle with the thought that sometimes I think to myself this would be so easy if I only had One kid not two or in my case now three. And the guilt I feel daily is all consuming, I feel that there is so much more I need to be doing and either don't  have the energy or patience or knowledge to do the things I think I should be doing. I just feel so overwhelmed constantly. I don't even feel like a good member of the church these days. Let me just say GUILT there too. I don't feel like I am living up to so many mothers around me and the many great examples that I have had around me through the years. I really try not to compare myself with others and for the most part I do ok with not doing that. I just wonder how do moms do it? How do they keep it together?

I have the most amazing husband too. He is always giving me time to get away when needed. So why do I feel so stressed most of the time?

Any way here are some photos of my kiddos.

Dawson at his 9 month check up.

We went to Disneyland in November.